YEARS LATER
by writingsomestuff
Summary: A hollyoaks later about Tilly Evans. She has gone to uni, studying hard and she's turning 22.
1. Chapter 1

This is 'Years later' something different, hope you like it! Maybe another chap later today but the second is definitely coming on tomorrow!

Have fun reading! Share your thoughts on this one ;)

Struggling to not drop any of the books she was carrying, Tilly tried to open up the door of her dorm. In a few days it was her birthday and she would turn 22 then. Last week when she had spoken on skype with Esther and George she had told them they should come over at the weekend to celebrate. Both of them had said 'no' in union, which Tilly didn't really understood. It had been since the summer that she had seen her friends and now she finally had a quiet weekend and it was her birthday, they didn't want to come over!? As Esther and George saw Tilly's face drop they both started laughing and then informed her to check her mail. The redhead did as told and when she had seen that one special message, she had screamed of happiness. She couldn't believe what she saw, it was a conformation of a booking for a train ticket to London. George and Esther had bought it for their friend as they thought it would be a good idea for the birthday girl to get away from her local place for a bit cause they knew she hadn't left Cambridge in the last 4 months. The ticket was for the train at 5 p.m. on Friday so she would be in London with her friend just in time to grab some dinner.

As it was Friday afternoon already Tilly decided it was about time to start packing. Dropping her books at her desk, for once not caring about studying in the weekend she grabbed a bag and started packing. It was her birthday after all and she wanted to make the best of it. No matter how much she liked studying in order to fulfill her dream, it was getting a bit harder the last couple of weeks. The last years she hadn't done anything but to concentrate on her studies and now after the last summer Tilly had felt like she was like missing something.

Thinking of it now a smile appeared on the redhead's face. That summer had been one of the best summer's in her life. She had had so much fun, traveling with friends to Paris, going to the beach, little day trips around the country, … . Even though she had broken up with her ex, Sophie just before summer, it had been a good summer. Her relationship with Sophie hadn't been really, … there wasn't that real connection between them. Tilly had loved Sophie but after a huge augment and thinking about what they had the redhead came to realize she wasn't really in love with her. She did like her a lot but … it wasn't like … . It had been more like her relation with her first Cambridge girl Kate, even though that only went on for a month. After Kate there had been Becky who was in her final year already, she was a girl who Tilly could see her living together with but Becky had cheated on her after they were almost a year together. The redhead had been heartbroken by it, the way it ended was really awful. When Tilly found out about it, she had given Becky another chance after she had sworn it was just a drunken move and promising it would never happen again. About a week later Tilly saw her with another girl in town, being all over each other like a young couple. Witnessing that had caused the redhead's heart to break once again. The pain she had felt then had reminded her of the break ups with Jen, but even though those had felt even worse, it still did hurt a lot now. That night Becky was supposes to come over for a romantic night. As soon as she had entered Tilly's dorm she had known Tilly knew. Lot's of yelling, screaming and tears but that last thing only on tilly, happened. Until the redhead literally threw Becky out with all her stuff that Tilly had of her in her room. It had been the redhead's friend Sophie who had been there to cheer her up. Sophie really cared about Tilly and they became close. Then one day when she knew her friend was really over all the things that happened between her and Becky, which was a long time, Sophie couldn't hide her feelings no longer and she had kissed Tilly while walking her home from the movies. The redhead had been taken by surprise and at first didn't know how to react. They always had a good time together so why not. Tilly had thought it had been the way things had ended with Becky that was making her kind of afraid to let love back in again. So she thought those feelings of angst would go away when she actually was in a relationship with Sophie cause she did liked her, she was like her best friend. Well now how things turned out, Tilly wished she never had chosen to date Sophie cause due to their break op she had lost their friendship too. Sophie moved away to the other side of the country, not because of Tilly but because of the work she did or that's what she told. Now a days it's was possible to keep contact but Sophie just disappeared as she moved. It had made Tilly feel bad, she knew Sophie loved her but she just didn't love her back like that. The redhead just stood up for herself for once as she realized things weren't working for her. Telling Sophie that had been a hard thing to do cause she didn't wanted to lose the friend she was for her. She knew it would hurt Sophie and that thought alone already made Tilly feel bad because she knew how it felt like to be hurt and it had been Sophie helping her to ease the pain and yet she was going to be the one now causing pain to her. Sophie had cried so much when Tilly had told her it would be better if they ended it. She had tried to fight for Tilly to convince her, to try again but Tilly already had made up her mind. Tilly explained and Sophie had said she understood. The first week they saw each other a few times and went for coffee but a week later Sophie texted Tilly she was moving to York because of work and with that text she never heard or saw Sophie again. Luckily it was summer break and Tilly's 'old friends' were there for her. The beginning of the summer holidays weren't that cheerful due to the break up and disappearing of Sophie but her friend never left her side and they really gave her the best holiday! It was a summer to never forget about and Tilly was sure this weekend would just be as entertaining and fun as summer had been like.


	2. Chapter 2

Thank you for the reviews. :D Enjoy reading!

Her bags were packed and she had another hour before she had to leave for her train. Even though her two best friends lived in London en probably know every place out the city, Tilly decided to check out online what there is to see and do in London. When she saw something about a gallery opening she wrote down the time and address. This art even reminded her that she had to inform Jim she wasn't coming on Saturday. Jim is a good friend of Tilly, he is an artist. Every two week he gives a workshop to people who are interested in learning more about art and Tilly always goes to them. She sends him a e-mail first before she forgets and then looks around some more on the web, writing down interesting places. Time flies and soon the spare hour is over and it's time to head to the train station. A ten minutes walk it took the redhead to arrive. Her train would arrive in 15 minutes so Tilly had enough time to grab a coffee for on her ride.

During the ride to Londen the student kept herself busy reading a novel she had got from her uni-friend for her birthday. It was a book she had heard about and wanted to by for a while now. Last week with her collage mate June they went into the bookstore and Tilly immediately spotted the book 'Where we belong by Emily Griffin'. Considering Tilly's birthday was coming up June bought it for her friend cause she knew she wasn't going to find any better birthday gift.

George and Esther just walked into the station when they heard the announcement that Tilly's train just arrived at platform 4, so they hurried themselves that way. As they walked the long tunnel that leaded to the platform they saw a girl with short ginger hair and a big smile walking their way.

'Tilly!' they both called out even though the redhead already spotted her two friend long before.

'Hi guys' she said when she got greeted with a hug of them both.

'We're so glad you're here! Tomorrow on your birthday we are gonna have the best party ever!' George said

'oh thank you guys, thank you so much! For the train ticket and for this weekend. I can feel it's gonna be so good! Spoke tilly over enthusiastic

'It's going to be a great weekend! We'll show you around, george and I've discovered some new cool places!'

'I can't wait you guys! But let's get something to eat first, my treat.'

'you don't have to do that'

'yeah no need to tils' agreed esther

'I know I don't but I want to, besides I'm starving!' and with those words the three friends walked out the station in search for some place to have dinner.

Eventually they ended up having a burger and fries. George and Esther told their friend about some cool club in town so tilly agreed to check it out later. But first the went to a small hotel were Tilly could drop of her stuff. It would have been more fun if she could have stayed at George of Esther's but their dormr rooms were just too small for two people to stay. Both of Tilly's friends wanted her to have a comfortable place to sleep so they had rent a room for Tilly. They dropped Tilly of at the hotel and arranged to get themselves ready and be back at the hotel room in two hours. When her two friends had left Tilly headed to the bathroom and took a warm long shower. It felt so good after the long day today had been and knowing the day still wasn't long over. About an hour it took the redhead for getting completely ready. Checking the time she saw it was still an hour before George and Tilly would be back and Tilly was thirsty. She didn't wanted to order room service because those are always expensive so she decided to go outside and search a shop for some bottles of water. With only taken one step out the hotel Tilly already spotter a Tesco shop a bit further down the street.. She walked towards it hoping it would be still open and it was. As she was waiting to cross the street Tilly's heart stood still for a second. Had she seen this right!? _The girl who just left the shop and now disappeared around the corner was that who she thought it was? _

The cars had stopped but the lights for the pedestrians hadn't turned green yet and Tilly was already crossing the streets. She wanted to know if she saw things right. The redhead even started to run a bit. When she was around the corner she run a little end further and then stopped. Carefully looking around to spot the person she thought she had seen leaving the shop but that person was nowhere to be found. Slightly disappointed Tilly headed back. Walking past the shop almost forgetting the reason why she was out there but then it hit her mind again as she saw someone drinking some beverage and she walked back to get her bottles of water.

When Tilly was back at her hotelroom there was only left half an hour to kill. To pass those 30 minutes she turned on the telly and flickered through some channels. She wasn't really watching, her mind was still locked on what aired earlier. Her thought kept thinking over, visualizing what she saw and trying to figure out if it was true. _Did she want it to be true? Did she wish she had gone to the ship a minute earlier so she had bumped into her? Would the girl have seen her too? Did she walk away because she saw me? _

Three loud knock on the door brought the redhead back down to earth.

'Tadaaa' george screamed as Tilly opened the door, turning himself around to show of his self made outfit.

'Woow george you look handsome!' stated Tilly and invited him in.

A couple of minutes later Esther arrived too and they headed to some club. The club was only a couple of streets away so they decided they would be quicker if they just went by foot. On their way to the club they had to pass the Tesco where she had seen a familiar figure. Just as about an hour ago Tilly walked around the corner of the shop but with her friends now. The redhead couldn't stop looking around, trying to spot the one who she thought she had seen. All the way to the club she kept searching for her but again that person was nowhere to be found. Tilly just couldn't keep her mind from it, even when they were in the club the redhead's eyes kept looking.

'You okay Tils?' George asked her suddenly

'Yeah, yeah I am fine'

'You sure, you're looking around like you've seen a ghost or like you're scared that someone is watching you'

'Oh well, I thought I saw someone I know earlier when we entered the club but seems like I was wrong.' Explained tilly 'come on let's dance' she added to change the subject and to try to take her mind of this person.


	3. Chapter 3

The three friends were dancing, chatting, having fun and an hour later Esther's girlfriend joined them. She had asked her friends before if that was okay cause she knew George just split up with his boyfriend about two weeks ago and Tilly was single so she didn't wanted them to feel uncomfortable. The two friends weren't, they still had each other and both Tilly as George were happy Esther found her match. Both of them were blondes and both of them were interested in the designer world. They looked really happy together and they were. Tilly had never met Rose, Esthers girlfriend, at least not in real life. The two had met a few times before on skype and went along great, just as now. All the four of them had a really good time. George, Esther and Rose had a few drinks up too many, Tilly had been a bit more mature knowing she didn't want to have a hangover at her birthday. When they were all tired of partying and noticed the time, they headed home. Home as in the dorm or for Tilly the hotel room. Tilly had suggested for them to stay at her hotel room as it was the close by and the bed was massive, big enough for the four of them but they refused the offer.

Tilly had managed to take her mind of the girl, after a while of dancing in the club. She had kind of forgotten about it and that came in handy now cause she slept in real easy, which would have been a whole other case if that girl would have still be the main thing on her thoughts.

Waking up after a good night of sleep Tilly smiled, knowing she was in London with her friends and it was her birthday. When she checked her phone she already had tons of messages from friends and family, wishing her the best birthday. The message from her parents told her to call when she was awake. Her parents missed her while she was away and hoped she would have had come home for her birthday. That was the plan originally until about a week ago when Tilly's friends had given her the train ticket to visit them. The redhead's parents had been looking forward to see their daughter again but they understood Tilly going to London to be with her friends. It was a gift after all and they knew how hard their daughter had been working so she deserved a break from everything. When Tilly called them the phone hadn't even rang one time or it already got picket up. It was like her mom had been holding the phone in her hands the whole time waiting for Tilly's call. First thing she said, or more likely yelled was 'Happy birthday'. Her mom told her to check her bank account if she wanted to see what her birthday gift was. Tilly thanked her parents and apologized for not being around this year but her mom told her not to worry, she understood. Tilly promised she would come home another weekend in the near future. Her parents liked that idea, her dad who was listening along on speaker and hadn't said much yet even offered to come and get her with the car but the redhead didn't found that necessary. The redhead said she had to go as she was getting hungry and wanted to grab something for breakfast.

Tilly checked the time, it was only 10 a.m. which was early considering the long day it had been yesterday. She hadn't received any messages from neither George nor Esther so the redhead figured they would probably be still asleep, they had drunk quite a lot last night. So Tilly decided to grab some breakfast on her own. Grabbing her handbag and hotel key she headed out in search of a place to have some breakfast. On the corner there was some coffee shop that seemed pretty cozy and within seconds she had decided this was the place she was going to have breakfast at. The redhead took a look at the menu and ordered a coffee and a croissant before taking a seat at a small table. While she enjoyed her breakfast Tilly searched her handbag to find the pieces of paper. The one she had written down the addresses of some interesting places on before she left Cambridge. When she had found it she read them through and her eye kept going back to the address of a gallery exposition. Tilly remembered the advert she had seen online and knew it look pretty interesting. The exposition opened at 9 a.m. till 12 a.m. and again in the afternoon from 2 till 6 p.m. so she decided to go before noon. The student had no idea where the gallery was, she had an address but didn't knew where to find it so she asked a men at the table behind her hoping he would know. Luckily for Tilly he did know and the luck was on her side as the men informed her it was only a few streets away. He gave Tilly the right directions, she then thanked him for his help before drinking the last bit of her coffee and heading to the exhibition.

A ten-minute walk it took Tilly to get to the main road now she had to take a street on the right and there the gallery would be according to the men. She looked for street of the gallery but before she knew it she was on the end of the main street so she must have walked past it. How was that even possible, she thought to herself. Tilly turned around and walked back to find the street she was looking for. All of a sudden her name felt on a flyer board of the gallery, pointing out which direction it was. It pointed towards a small alley, the redhead look a bit up and saw a little sign with the name of the alley on it. So this was the 'street' she had been looking for. The alley looked quite dark, some people might not have dared walking in it but Tilly did. At the end of the alley there was a door with a flyer of the event taped on it and a welcome sign. The door stood open on a wide crack so Tilly pushed it open and went inside. Again she had to follow some arrow that lead toward the exhibition room. A bit further down the hall she saw and heard a bunch of people. The redhead hadn't really expected that much people to be there considering how much trouble she had finding this place but then again she thought, this is London so maybe this place was well know with the locals.

Someone at the door welcomed Tilly and handed a flyer of the event. The redhead didn't really bother checking it out as she was already here and so she just started her tour around. There were all different kind of pieces, painting, sculptures, drawing, photographs. She enjoyed her tour, it made her miss the workshops she had followed an normally would be following right now too but this defiantly made up for missing out on today's workshop. Even though she had decided to go for her education as G.P., Tilly did miss the creative classes, the artistic stuff. At moments she just felt the urge inside her to create something, to clear her mind, to let everything out and free it all on a canvas. Going to an exhibition made her miss this even more. Tilly's eye felt on a large painting. The way how the artist had used the colors to bring more life into it attracted the redhead. She hadn't even got a proper look at it but she already had fallen in love with this painting.


	4. Chapter 4

Thank you for all your reviews! I love reading them. Please keep them coming and don't be scared to say something you don't like about it. I don't mind the critics. When you point out things I do wrong, I can learn from it! ;) The things about the beginning being boring I do kind of understand cause it's all kind of background information but you kind of need it to know at which point in Tilly's life this story is situation. ;) But we're getting to the more exciting times at this chapter so have fun reading!

Enjoy!

Tilly took a step back to have a better view on the painting, without taking her eyes away from it, causing her to bump into someone.

'Oh, I'm sorry!' Said Tilly turning around to face the person she just hit, excusing herself

The person replied 'oh no problem' smiling politely but that smile changed as soon as Tilly was facing her.

In less then a seconds the smile disappeared and changed in a pure shocked expression which was reflected on the redhead her face. For a moment it was silent in the room for both the women, when in reality there was still a lot of noise of soft music playing and people talking. Neither of them could believe their eyes, were they dreaming? The women in front of Tilly blinked a few time with her eyes as in to make sure this is real.

It was Tilly who was the first to speak. 'Hey' she said quietly but just loud enough for the person who still looked shocked at her to hear.

Almost collapsing down of seeing Tilly in front of her again, after all that time, she did her best to keep calm even though her insides were going mental almost not able to handle this situation. 'Hi' she replied as quiet like Tilly had spoken.

Again neither of them spoke, not knowing what to say. What do you say to each other, after all this time, after all that happened. _Tilly wondered if it was her she had seen leaving the Tesco shop near the hotel last night or if that was just a coincidence. If not had she seen her then too? Had she run away from her?_ Both the girls mind run through a millions of questions, memories. Like the memory they had of the last time they had seen each other… .

Tilly couldn't take the silence anymore, she wanted to get away from that place. Escape whatever was about to happen next cause she had no idea what to expect and feared it might be worse then the last time she saw this person.

'I've, .. I .. go' stumbled the redhead and with those bits and piece she turned around walking towards the exit.

'Tilly, wait!' yelled the person and it made the student stop just before walking back out they way she entered.

The redhead could feel how this person had run after her and stood right behind her, she doubted to turn around or not. Until she heard the women say 'it's you birthday today right?' Tilly nodded and turned around to face this person again.

_She does remember my birthday! How? Why? Wow, she remembers that! She hasn't forgotten about me. Would she still think if me? What would she be thinking of? _Tilly's mind fired away inside. She just couldn't believe she still remembered her birthday.

'Well here this for you then, Happy birthday' she spoke friendly but clearly filled with nerves and worries while she handed Tilly a little rose made of paper which had been pinned onto her blazer.

'Thank you' whispered Tilly accepting the flower.

Neither of them did know what to say next, they had a thousand things ready in their head to say but they couldn't. Something inside was stopping them. Tilly stared down thinking of something right to say next.

The person who stood in front of the redhead looked behind her and saw a friend signing her to come over. She didn't wanted go back but maybe it was better, it was a good excuse right? 'I better go back ….' She started, causing the student to look up.

The two women stared into each other's eyes and knew exactly how the other one felt cause both of them felt the same way. The women who just had been called back looked down again and turned around doubting to go back or to say anything else to Tilly.

Tilly didn't want her to go. She wanted to talk with her, ask her how she's doing, … . And if she wanted to do something about this awkward situation she had to do it now.

'Jen …!' she started, waiting for her to turn around again.

When she did Tilly could see the look in the brunette's watery eyes again, the student kind of blocked and just added 'Thanks for the flower'

Jen nodded and did her best to force a smile. Her name got called again from behind her so she turned her head to see who needed her. Tilly took this as an opportunity to run away without having to make things any harder. The look in Jen eyes, the way it had touched to deep inside her heart made it kind of impossible for the redhead to stay. She was about to breakdown and needed to get away before that happened. When Jen looked back at Tilly she only caught a last glimpse of the redhead running down the hallway. 'Bye, Tilly' she whispered and a tear rolled down her face.

The brunette's friend who had been calling he three times now walked over to Jen. When she saw a tear running down her face she asked if she was okay. The friend wanted to pull her into a hug but Jen untangled herself and run to the bathroom where she let all the tears she had been holding back out.

Meanwhile Tilly was running and kept running till she had to stop. It was like she ran in attempt to run all those feelings outside of her, to let it all go so she wouldn't have to deal with them anymore. Out of breath she stopped. Not knowing where she was right now she walked into a small alley lowered herself down to sit on the ground, not caring how dirty it was. She felt weak in her legs, weak in her mind, weak in her heart. With her legs pulled up against her chest, her arms crossed on top of her knees and her head buried between them Tilly's eyes became waterfalls just like Jens.

Both women were adults and the things that happened between them happened more then 4 years ago. So why were they crying like little children? Because both of them remembered the last time seeing each other like it was yesterday.

_The police coming to take Jen away. The look on both their faces and the feelings and thoughts inside them. It felt all so wrong. A look of guilt, sorrow and angst on Jen's face but Tilly remembered seeing the love the brunette still felt for her in her eyes. Just like she had seen minutes ago. The teacher's last words, apologizing for everything. 'I'm sorry' were the exact last words which the redhead had replied with 'me too' and had felt so stupid while she had spoken them. _

Feeling even more stupid now for letting Jen go like this again. But it just hurt. Seeing her did hurt, … not because she hated her, because she didn't! Not at all! She hated herself for how the things between them ended. When Jen was gone Tilly couldn't easily cope with everything that happened. At first she had let herself get carried away by everyone being negative about Jen but after a while when she had discovered a photo of her and Jen together at the beach she rediscovered all the things she loved about her, loves about her. Later she found out it had been Jen who had done some effort to help Esther. She found out Jen thought Esther had difficulties with her sexuality, thinking she felt less because of that. Everything she had found out made Tilly think and think and feel stupid about the way she had handled everything. Cause with all the new things she had discovered Tilly understood more why Jen had reacted and behaved like she had. The redhead felt stupid for just assuming and thinking in Jen's place instead of just talking to her and asking her point of view.


	5. Chapter 5

It's weekend! YAY! Have a good one everyone, here's a chap to start. Don't know when the next is coming… If you wanna keep yourself posted, tweet me or just follow me on twitter 'writingsomestuf' or ask me on ask .fm /writingsomestuff

Enjoy!

A knock on the bathroom door caused Jen to pull herself back together. Making a bowl of her hands letting water run in it and then splashing it in her face, in the hope that would hide the fact she had been crying as a little baby. Before opening the door she dried her face.

'you okay' the brunette's friend asked as she was worried

'Yes! I'm fine' answered Jen trying to sound confident and making her way back to the exhibition room to avoid any further questions.

Once she entered the room Jen started scanning the room in the hope Tilly had returned but she hadn't and Jen ended up talking to some friends who just arrived and she hadn't seen in ages.

Tilly's eyes had run dry but she was still snubbing. A phone call from George forced her to compose herself. George sounded like always his enthusiastic self. Last night he had drunk a lot but the sleep he got helped to cure him a lot. They agreed to meet up at the hotel within an hour, esther was going to come too. Then the three friends would go for lunch together and after that they would take Tilly for a surprise. When george had hung up the redhead checked the time 11.45 a.m. it was already. The student pulled herself up on her feets, walked back on the street and tried to find out where she was. After 5 minutes of wandering around she saw a building she recognized and knew she wasn't far away from her hotel. Another 10 minutes it took her to find her hotel. She had 45 minutes to get ready. When Tilly walked into her bathroom she slightly scared herself by the image she saw in the mirror. Her eyes were a bit swollen, completely red and her make-up was totally ruined.

Just as the birthday girl was finished her two friends knocked at her door. Tilly unlocked it and let them in, as she just wanted to spray a bit of perfume on her. George had made some reservation at some local restaurant, a Italian who served the best pizza's and pasta's of whole London.

The food was just incredible! This was really the best Italian food the redhead ever had. Esther brought up the surprise they had for Tilly and George was getting all excited. He knew Tilly would like the surprise-afternoon they had planned. The redhead was curious, dying to know what the plans were. Eventually Esther showed Tilly a flyer of a gallery. The advertising of the exhibition she just had seen Jen at. This couldn't be true! Tilly absolutely didn't want to go back to that place. Actually she did wanted to go back, for once not for the art but for someone. Someone named Jen. But she couldn't go back, not right now and defiantly not with her friends. There was a big chance Jen would already be gone but what if she's not? What if one of Jen her friends was an artist who tool part at that showing and the brunette was there to accompany him or her? That would be something she couldn't handle. So the redhead didn't wanted to go but that she couldn't tell her friends. At least not the real reason why she absolutely had no intention of going to that gallery with them. So Tilly tried to sound just the normal not the shocked-by-seeing-her-ex-girlfriend-who-used-to-be -her-teacher-Tilly, and told half of the truth. Saying she already went this morning -which was the true part- and found it nothing special, in fact quite boring –which was a complete lie cause tilly had loved the art collection-.

Her friends seemed to buy her story and said they weren't going to waste their time on that and so they would go to the next stop on there surprise list.

It was a fun day. The three friends visited a lot of beautiful places. Tilly really was thankful for having such a good friends. They really knew her to well, having searched out all different kind of places, which Tilly all loved. One thing they didn't know, luckily was the thing that kept running through their friends mind even though she was having fun. That thing, who is more like a person was called Jen. How hard she tried to just forget about her, Tilly couldn't. Every place they went to Tilly's eyes unintentionally kept scanning the world around her for the brunette. She just couldn't get her out. Not even when they had dinner. Tilly saw Jen everywhere. No, she saw Jen in everything and everyone. Cause she was looking for her. Her mind was playing tricks on her. Later at night while they were dancing in the club the barwomen had the same haircut as Jen and Tilly couldn't keep her eyes of her. When Tilly was back in bed she still couldn't stop thinking about her the girl who used to be her teacher but more imported, who used to be her girlfriend.

By the time Tilly slept in it was already early in the morning, around 5a.m. but once she had fallen asleep she slept till 1:30 p.m. . That's when her phone ringing waked her up. George. He apparently already called a few times cause Tilly had 5 missed calls. George immediately heard Tilly had only just woken up. He had some sort of suspicion that their might be something bothering Tilly but he didn't found it the right time to get into that right now so he just invited her for lunch.

Half an hour later the three friends sat in a park, enjoying some food and drinks underneath the warmth of the sun shining on them. Esther only could stay half an hour cause she and her girlfriend had to leave for some family party. So when Esther's girlfriend arrived to pick her up, it got to the point to say their goodbye's. George still had the whole day but Tilly had to catch a train around 5 pm. The two friends stayed a little bit longer talking about everything and then george asked Tilly how she felt. How he thought she had been acting a bit weird during her visit here. The redhead didn't know what to say right away. _Should she trust him? Should she tell him the truth? He probably would understand her? Maybe he could tell her what the best thing to do now would be, like go back or just forget about it?_


	6. Chapter 6

**Hope you all enjoy!**

_George still had the whole day but Tilly had to catch a train around 5 pm. The two friends stayed a little bit longer talking about everything and then george asked Tilly how she felt. How he thought she had been acting a bit weird during her visit here. The redhead didn't know what to say right away. Should she trust him? Should she tell him the truth? He probably would understand her? Maybe he could tell her what the best thing to do now would be, like go back or just forget about it?_

She didn't. Tilly searched an excuse, then she reminded the one she used in the club at their first night out and used that one again. It was kind of half true. Cause she did saw someone she thought she recognized but now she knew she was right and it was the girl she thought it was but that she didn't tell. Just like she didn't tell that girl was Jen. No, she said she thought it was Sophie and now couldn't stop thinking about her. Telling George this he asked further questions and Tilly kind of found it helpful. She answered those questions honestly but replacing Jen's name with Sophie. Thanks to this talk she could place her own feelings better. She knew she had to speak to Jen but she couldn't. It was to late now anyway, in about an hour she had to leave to catch a train. George walked Tilly back to her hotel and said goodbye. Telling Tilly to come over anytime and to just call whenever she needs a talk or something. The redhead thanked him and said it counts just the same the other way around. George left and Tilly went up to make her bags. It didn't take long since she only stayed for a weekend so within 30 minutes she was all set to head towards the train station and go back to Cambridge.

It was Sunday 4:50 pm when tilly arrived at the platform. Within 10 minutes her train would be there. The ten minutes flew over as Tilly's mind kept going over every memory of the weekend in London, which Jen had occupied the most of. Jen, Jen, Jen kept running through her thoughts. Her train arrived. The doors opened, people got out and then people got in. A conductor blew on a whistle to warn the passengers to get up now before the doors were about to close. Tilly watched the doors close, watching the train drive away from London to Cambridge while she still stood on the platform. She missed her train, on purpose. Not entirely on purpose but she couldn't just leave. The redhead just couldn't step on that train pretending whatever happened yesterday between her and Jen didn't happen. She wanted to talk, she needed to talk and she couldn't just leave London before she saw Jen again!

Once Tilly had realized this she checked the time. Not knowing where Jen would be she headed into the city. The only place Jen could be was the gallery. It could be Jen was helping out at the event or maybe a friend of hers was showing some pieces or maybe Jen would just be there in the hope Tilly still was….

Much to Tilly annoyance the traffic in the city got stuck. She had never should have taken a cab but the subway instead. It was 5:50 and Tilly stood stuck in traffic. This was it she had enough of it. Tilly paid the driver and was going to walk the last bit. That walk took her longer than expected, about a half hour. The last bit Tilly literally run in the hope she still would make it in time but sadly enough the advertise sign of the exhibition was already gone. But that didn't stop tilly from going inside. The door was closed but unlocked, the arrows down the hallway that had lead to the exhibition room were gone and it was extremely quiet. With the last bit of hope inside her Tilly tried to open the closed door that had been open during the event. … It was unlocked. The room that had been filled with beautiful creations of arts yesterday was now half empty. Much to the redhead dissapointment no one was there either. Tilly turnd around until suddenly a voice spoke from behind some fake wall.

'Holly would you come over quick please'

Tilly was slightly shocked. Not by the sudden voice but because she knew who's voice it was. She loved this voice, she was looking for this voice. It was Jen's voice.

Without even thinking Tilly just walked to the direction where the voice was coming from. Once behind the fake wall she was Jen standing on a ladder, trying to take a painting off but struggling a bit.

The brunette heard footsteps coming closer her way and assumed it was her friend who was back. 'Holly great you're back, would you please give me a hand with this' Jen asked without turning around to see if it was her friend indeed as she was trying to hold this frame and not letting it drop onto the floor.

Tilly hurried over, accepting the painting. Jen looked down at the person she though was her friend Holly but was shocked to see Tilly, making her lose her balance. In a fraction of a second the redhead put the frame on the ground and kept Jen from falling town the steps. Steadying her by holding her by her bum. Once the brunette had found her balance again she carefully came down the ladder.

'Thank you' she spoke with her cheeks coloring red a bit.

'No problem' answered Tilly shy with cheeks that shared the same shade of red like Jens.

'Tilly …' jen was about to start saying something. By the tone of her voice tilly thought it would be an apology for everything in the past, so she cute her off.

Tilly had had the time to think about this whole situation and she knew now they had to talk. So she stood there a bit more confidant then Jen. The brunette had thought about it all to, like a lot. She maybe only had slept about 5 hour this weekend and one of the reasons was seeing Tilly and thinking about her that kept her awake at night. Well Tilly was actually the main reason.

'Am I to late?...' Tilly started asking, being a bit ambiguous on purpose. It surely confused the brunette. 'To have a look around. I didn't saw everything but I would love to have a complete tour.' Tilly added, to avoid this talk ending up like their last one, cause they needed to talk.

'Okay, … but erm some of Holly's paintings are already …' spoke Jen as Tilly let her to a painting she like.

The redhead stopped right in front of it and interrupted Jen.

'I don't care about those…' whispered tilly as Jen joined her

The brunette's face looked puzzled not quite understanding what Tilly meant and just as she was about to ask her she was cut off again.

'I like the ones like this one, the ones signed with G.J.' spoke Tilly pointing to the painting in front of them, which she found gorgeous.

'There are only a few but I'll show you them' said Jen and started talking about the one they were standing in front of.


	7. Chapter 7

_Like I've told you before and on twitter, I've been busy like hell so that why it took me 'so long' to update. It's only a short one I know but I still got some things to do. I just wanted to write a bit._

_Enjoy reading!_

Jen guided the redhead around professionally. Telling things about the paintings. The composition, the light, the paint, the contrasts, the colors, the figures, … . She wanted to but thought it was better not to, to go a bit more personal. Questions like 'do you like it' or 'what do you think' were the most personal ones she asked. The brunette was really nervous during this small tour but she was able to hide that from Tilly. That's why she had decided to act like a professional, it would make it easier to suppress her feelings. All the feelings she had pushed away since she left Hollyoaks, all the feelings that had started fighting their way out since she saw Tilly again for the first time yesterday after all that time. The redhead had been such an important person in her life and the way things were left was just … it had been difficult to move on from. Jen had managed to do but now it seemed like she maybe hadn't done such a good job with that moving on part. Cause those feelings she had right now where hard to handle.

The student felt trapped between al the feelings inside her. She loved the way how Jen was talking so passionate about her pieces and at the way she was so modest about it. Like Jen never even said those paintings were hers, in fact she always said 'I assume the painters intention was …' But that was something that was starting to annoy Tilly. The way the brunette was acting so distance, not letting her in. Not opening up towards her. It's not like they were total strangers so … .

'So this is it.' Spoke Jen pausing for a second. She didn't wanted Tilly to go yet. She had enjoyed her visit, guiding her around even though it was formal. 'but I can show you some other great …'

'no …' bluntly answered the redhead, having enough of Jen's distance behavior.

'but they are great too… ' The former teacher tried to speak, hoping she could convince Tilly to stay cause Jen just thought Tilly wanted to leave.

'I mean no because i think you forgot to show me another one of yours' Tilly spoke calm pointing at the one she was fascinated about when she had bumped into Jen.

Jen looked around to see the one Tilly was pointing at even though she already knew which one tilly was talking about. She knew too daim well she had let out a painting of hers. And how the hell did Tilly know those paintings were hers? 'Wait what … you know they're mine?' questioned Jen even though Tilly already told her the answer to that question

Tilly just smiled. It made the brunette feel weak inside, vulnerable, naked, exposed. It felt like even though she completely had shut herself down towards the young adult, Tilly still knew her better than anyone else. However exposed she felt, jen did felt kind of home and deep down she knew the only true reason for that. Tilly.


	8. Chapter 8

I've been hell of a lot busy so that why it took me so long to write this. I'm still pretty busy but not as much anymore so I've found some time to write again. Enjoy :D

The paining was huge, it covered like almost a complete wall. Most of the colors used in the piece were kind of dark. Except for one color, copper but it was only used once and small. However how little Jen had used the copper it stood out against the rest of the paintings, it even was kind of shining. It was hard to see a bigger picture in the painting cause it was kind of abstract. What Tilly made of it was that there were all people, like standing with their backs to another figure, the one with the copper-red smudge on it's chest.

'so isn't there a story behind this one?' asked tilly curious.

'nope no story, just threw something on the canvas and it seems like people liked it that way.' Spoke jen not very convincing

What Jen just told her, Tilly didn't believe. It was nothing like her to 'just throw some paint'. NO she thought about what she was going to create very precisely. The redhead acted like she bought the explanation but she knew there had to be more behind it and she was a bit curious what the story is behind it if jen didn't wanted to share it with her. 'Did someone bought it?' asked Tilly to keep the conversation going.

'oh no, this one isn't for selling'

'Why not, it's beautiful!?'

'Thanks.' Jen just answered

Again there was a moment of silence. Both of them had so much on their mind to ask but they were just too scared to actually ask those questions. Suddenly the girls jumped by the sound of a door getting stamped open.

'oh I'm sorry' a women immediately excused herself when she saw Tilly and Jen.

'it's okay' said jen

Something about Jen's behavior told the friend this was kind of a bad timing for her interrupting whatever what was going on. 'well I just came to take another. DO you mind locking up then?'

'yeah sure, no problem'

'Okay, here are the keys and we'll just cleanup the rest tomorrow morning.'

'okay … see you then'

'bye' And with that Jen's friends and colleague artist left.

'erm maybe I better go… so you can …'

'no' interrupted Jen a bit abrupt which shocked both of them. 'I mean .. you've heard we're gonna finish this up tomorrow morning so …'

Tilly stood speechless for a second, she didn't want to leave and did this mean jen did not want her to leave either? 'I've to catch a train but I'm sure I still have enough time to grab some dinner … if you want to?'

'oh .. erm .. yes yeah okay!'

'I do know an Italian place a bit further so if you want to …'

'okay yeah …' Jen kind of lost her words. Dinner with tilly after all this time … it made her feel nervous.

They went to the same place were Tilly had been with her friends before. Both of them ordered some pasta.

'So you're going back home then or …?'

'oh no, well kind of but it's not my real home … I'm going back to Cambridge.'

'G.P. studies?'

'yeah' smiled TIlly

'you're going to be a great one'

'thanks!'

'SO how long have you've been here in London then?'

'oh it was just a birthday get a way. George and Esther bought me a ticket to visit them'

'well that's kind of them'

'yeah, they're the best.'

'tilly … ' jen started but just then they got their meals served.

The pasta looked and smelled delicious and with the first bite they took it got confirmed.

'hmm it's delicious' jen said

'yeah I know, they should open up a place at Cambridge. I would be there everyday'

'you can always just can move to London' answered Jen without thinking what she said. It was like her heart kind of took control over her.

Tilly's cheeks colored red, what was it Jen was doing with her!? 'I still do have another year in Cambridge left.'

'I know… how are the studies going anyway?'

'Good, I'm still me. I like it and next year I'm getting a really good placement so it'l will be great.'

'lovely to hear that' smiled Jen admiring the joy Tilly spoke with. In fact that's pretty much all she had been doing, watching Tilly. There was a knot in her stomach, which caused her to barely touch her food.

'you okay? You barely even touched your food?'

'oh yeah yeah it's … I'm just not that hungry, I've had lunch pretty late so …' lied Jen.

'well you're missing out on something' Tilly said, taking another huge bite

All jen did was smile and stare at the girl in front of her. The girl she had been missing so bad but now had found again, the girl who made her lose control over herself.

As it was already getting late the Tilly said it was time for her to get to the train station. Today had ended great even though it wasn't like it used to be and they both were kind of scared to get too personal, they just were happy today had happened. The redhead was glad she came back and didn't just went back to Cambridge. Jen offerend to pay but Tilly didn't want her to but that didn't stop the brunette for paying anyway when Tilly was gone to the bathroom. However when the student found out she paid Jen right back. Once outside Tilly looked up when she had a bus to the station. She just missed one 5 minutes ago and the next one was only in half an hours and that would mean she would miss her train. So Jen offered to drive Tilly to the station and at first the redhead declined it but Jen wouldn't take a no this time and so she did drove her to the station.

The saying goodbye part was kind of weird. What should they do, hug, kiss, just keep it at goodbye?

'Thanks for driving me' said tilly before opening the door.

'no problem' smiled the brunette back

tilly smiled back 'okay I bette go now before I do miss my train anyway'

'tilly wait!' called jen out stopping the redhead from closing the door and pulling it open again. 'I .. thank you, for today … I'm glad we … erm … wait I'll give you my number if that's okay …'

'is it still the same?'

'yes'

'I still have it saved on my phone then' smiled the redhead

'oh … really?' asked Jen surprised

'yeah'

'well, if you need …. I mean you got my number so …'

'I get it and mine is still the same too' winked the redhead

'okay good, well now leave before you train leaves without you'

Tilly smiled. They both did. One more time they said goodbye to one another and then the redhead headed toward her train.

Later on the train back, Tilly was searching her bags for some gum and saw the flyer of Jen's exhibition. She took it out and had a look at it. Cause she still hadn't done that. She read the part underneath the title J.G. It read that the masterpiece of this artist was an enormous painting. Showing the dark side of humanity, where you lose it all, where you're all alone, everyone left and you end up being lost.


	9. Chapter 9

HAVE FUN READING ! :D

Tilly had been back at Cambridge for a week now, she had been really busy but something never left her mind. Jen, of course. It had been a whole week since she had spoken to her and that was the last time she had heard of her. During the week the redhead had been multiple times like just a tiny bit away from the point where she was going to call Jen or text her but something stopped her from doing that. Like she was kind of scared. Afraid of the future, the future between them. What Tilly had read of Jen's painting in the brochure, kind of confused her.

'Showing the dark side of humanity, where you lose it all, where you're all alone, everyone left and you end up being lost.'

That one line showed such a darkness of emotion. It actually fitted perfectly with the painting. And the main reason for it to cause confusing in the student's head was because that one line sounded so familiar. Tilly was afraid the painting was Jen's expression of their past. It would made sense cause why else would've Jen left out that painting. Deep inside Tilly knew that was the reason but she was afraid of that fact, that her thoughts were true. Cause if it was like she was thinking, that would mean Jen must have been seriously hurt. The painting is so beautiful but the emotion it conveys is so strong. Sadness, hurt, pain, … that's what Tilly had seen in it.

The idea of it Tilly tried to shrug off cause it was getting late and if she was going to keep thinking about it she wouldn't close an eye all night. Before going to bed the student quickly checked her mails, like every night. Her plan of trying to forget about the painting failed right then, as she opened an invite of Jen. The invite was for a gallery exposition where Jen again would be a part off. This time the gallery exposition would take place in Norwich, not that far from Cambridge. Jen had said in the e-mail it was a late call as it was already next weekend and if she wouldn't be able to come it would be no problem.

As The read head was reading it she laughed, like Jen would even think she wasn't going to the gallery event. Of course she was.

Reading further through the mail Tilly smiled of excitement

'If you do are planning to come and have a look at the art, then I wouldn't mind picking you up on my way to Norwich. However I am leaving London on Friday already in order to set everything up in the afternoon.

Let me know what you think

Jen'

What should I do, Tilly was thinking. She took another look at the invite of the event and re-read the e-mail. But it didn't made her any wiser to take a decision. Tilly shut down her computer and got in bed but her thoughts didn't stop with that. The student absolutely wanted to go, defiantly but when should she go. Like a day in advance so Jen could pick her up or should she go later and take a train or something. Cause going a day early would mean having to spend the night in Norwich but where? Jen probably had already a place to say, she couldn't possibly ask to stay with her. Like how weird would that be and maybe Jen didn't even want that. 'What should she do?' questions kept running in her head. But the redhead always changed her mind and then came to the conclusion she had to answer another question first before being able to know what she had to do. The question she had to answer first was 'What did she want, like with Jen?'


	10. Chapter 10

Wednesday I'll write again, of which story would you like to have the next chap then? Let me know and share your thoughts on this one.

Enjoy.

'What did she want?' The questing kept circling through Tilly's mind, what was it she wanted. How did she want her recent re-found contact with Jen to evolve? The thing is Tilly actually knew it , she could answer that question within less then a second but something inside the redhead fought that reaction. Tilly was in denial about her own feelings. The truth is that from the first second Tilly had seen Jen in London, without even knowing for sure it was her, Tilly had felt the spark just like the moment when Jen had entered her life for the first time.

She did love Jen, she knew it. Never had the love she felt for that brunette ever left. It was a feeling that now, since Jen was back in her live had grown stronger. The teenager wished that for one moment she would just forget about everything that was stopping her. Just meet jen and … kiss her. Thinking about those lips Tilly missed them. Remembering how Jen's lips felt onto her own made her want to run straight to Jen.

Tilly knew this, but the problem was she wouldn't admit those feelings.

When the redhead woke up she was still tired, much sleep she hadn't get as her thought had kept her busy. Tilly left for her art workshop hoping it would help her with the anxiety and cluelessness for answering Jen's mail.

Meanwhile in London Jen checked her mail but there was only one from the exposition organization and one from her brother. No reply yet from Tilly. At first Jen was kind of sad by it but then she new it probably was to early to get a reply from Tilly. Because she had only send it last night and she remembered the times they were still together and Tilly didn't always check her mail on a daily base then so it wasn't really strange. This last thought made Jen smile, remembering the times they were actually together and the positive influence Tilly had on her life.

But then the brunette kind of got mad at herself for thinking about those times with the redhead and thinking she knew her so well. Like she was thinking about when they were together… , she shouldn't be thinking about that cause they weren't anymore and she had done so much wrong to Tilly. She had no right to think about how happy the girl used to make her and now still made her. She had no right to miss this redhead and let her hopes get up when she shouldn't be hoping at all cause she had no right to hope for Tilly even if this girl was the only sort of light in her life next to art.

Jen got fed up with herself and started to regret sending the invite an mistake. Maybe she should better send her that she can't come and pick her up or something cause it's just well weird ain't it?

The brunette hated the level of thinking in her mind cause again it was going into overdrive so Jen shut down her laptop. She then hung up a large paper on her wall, dipped her fingers in some cans filled with pained and started a new creation. Freeing her mind cause she needed it right now!

After the relief Jen had found in painting she decided to leave it like it was and just see what Tilly would do. Whatever it was she wasn't going to let it set her down or make her feel excited by it. It was time for her to accept reality and be happy for the fact they were friends, if they even were.

Tilly had arrived at her friends place, where she followed the workshop. During the years Tilly had followed the lessons she and the instructor/ artist had grown closer and now were kind of best friends.

'Oh hello my red passion' danny spoke very theatrical when Tilly walked through his door.

'Hi dan' greeted the redhead not really enthusiastic

'okay, so .. what's up with my red?' he asked, clearly noticing the redhead wasn't her usual happy self.

'hug me?'

'oh come here' Danny immediately answered, wrapping his arms around his best friend. 'So might I know what's upsetting you like this?' He asked as he released his arms from around Tilly

'I'm not upset … I just need to not to think…'

'Well there is only one way to accomplish that isn't it … ?' Dan said taking a white canvas and handing it to the redhead.

'Yes indeed' answered the tilly and started working while her friend put on some quiet music and then did the same.

After a 20 minutes of concentrated painting Danny had enough. He saw by the way Tilly was painting she wasn't okay, it was quite aggressive. Even though he knew painting or sketching is her way to get it all out, he didn't like the way tilly was doing this to herself like something was eating her from the inside out.

He went to stood behind her, grabbed her around her waist from behind and held her arms. 'shhh … breathe' he whispered as Tilly started crying and turned around wrapping her arms around Dan's neck …


	11. Chapter 11

Another one coming up soon. I've been writing quite a lot today.

Enjoy!

For Dan Tilly was one of his best friends he had been in some serious trouble last year where his world was crashing down. Many of his so called friends left him during that time but Tilly hadn't done that, she stayed around and offered him a shoulder to find comfort at whenever he needed it. Dan was so grateful and glad for the redhead being there for him cause it helped him to get back on his feet. It had brought them closer and both of them could imagine life without each other. Seeing Tilly struggling with something did hurt him too so he wanted to help his friend so she would be her happy self again.

Tilly had burst out it tears and telling Dan things but it all didn't make any sense for him. The way the redhead spoke wasn't really understandably because of the emotional state she was is. Dan just tried to calm tilly down and he managed to quite easily. When tilly had gotten her regular breathing back the artist asked to explain what made her feel like this. So the redhead told him everything, what happened in London but also what happened in the past. Never had she told anyone about her and Jen's past but now she did.

It felt good to talk with someone about everything that happen cause it was really a lot. Talking about it was kind of relieving for Tilly's brain. At times the redhead had though her brain was about to explode cause it was so full of stuff and she couldn't think clear anymore but now a lot of space got cleared up and that simply by talking about it.

The whole day was spend talking, sharing memories, giving advise and at last painting. This painting felt a lot better then it had before, calm, freeing, without aggression. Soon it got late and time for Tilly to go home. She thanked her friend for the help and he wished her the best of luck.

When Tilly came home she took a deep breath, turned on her computer and opened her mails. She read the invite Jen had send her one more time and then started writing her reply. As she finished, typing her name, she read her reply. A moment of doubt overtook the redhead. _'Was this really the right answer, was this what she really wanted? Oh come on Tilly you've been thinking about this all day long, this is what you want! Stop doubting. Put your doubts on the side for just one second and press that send button' Tilly told herself_

She took a breath, closed her eyes and clicked send. When she opened her eyes there was a note telling the e-mail was send. It felt good, like a weight was lifted of her shoulders. Tilly felt happy and now nervous at the same time as she now started to worry about what Jen would think of her answer. Today had worn so the redhead headed to bed, tomorrow she would have a busy day as she hadn't done any schoolwork yet.

It was just before midnight when Jen came home, she was exhausted all afternoon she had been running around London in search for a new flat cause her contract was ending any time soon and she wouldn't be able to hire any longer cause the owner his son was planning on moving into it. Together with a friend she had gone for diner after it but seeing the time of hour now, Jen realized she stayed longer then planned and tomorrow would be an early morning again. The brunette had to get up early for a meeting with some young talented people who were organizing an event and asked her for help which Jen was glad to say yes to, although right now not so much. From the moment she opened the door, the brunette started to strip and headed straight to her bed. Just as she ahd made it herself comfortable Tilly popped up again in her thought, reminder het she hadn't checked her mail since this morning. She didn't waste any second to jump out of bed and run to her laptop. The bright light shining in her eyes did kind of hurt but she wanted to see if Tilly already had send a reply and if it was a yes.

The corners of Jens lips rose up as she saw Tilly's name between the mail of her new messages. She scanned through the words till she met the letters that formed the words 'I would love to come'. Those words had made the brunette like ecstatic, this weekend now had to come really quick! Jen jumped around her flat making a little dance of happiness. If people could see her right now they surely would think she's crazy.

The first thing Jen did when she woke up was checking her mail, to be sure she hadn't dreamed Tilly's positive reply. She hadn't dreamed it, it was really real. Tilly was coming to the art event and she even wanted Jen to pick her up. That was a good sign right, that could mean they were friends or at least on the right path to become friends (again). Before the brunette gave herself the chance to get too excited about Tilly's reply she send a mail back.


	12. Chapter 12

Exams are over, which means more time so here's finally the next chapter!

Enjoy! :D

Both of them were very much looking forward to this trip. For Tilly the week dragged but for Jen it flew by because all the preparations for the gallery exposition had been like insane. Much paperwork, finishing off two more painting, packing the painting, discussing how they should hang, making the information signs and together with that the search for a new place and the project of the young artist. Of course this gallery exposition came on the first place, Jen wanted everything to be completely right.

The two had exchanged a few texts over the week but as much Jen had wanted to talk more she really hadn't the time. When the morning of Friday came jen waked up with the thought that in a few hours she would see tilly again and that made her happy. So all Jen still had to do today is help her fellow artist help their and her own creating load in the truck, check out flat number 5 this week and pack her bags. After those three things she could leave London and head toward Tilly.

Jen's bags were packed and so were the things for the gallery all she had to do now was check out a new flat. The brunette already hadn't much hope cause it was really difficult to find a good place for a good price. Till now all those flats had been to expensive. And so was this one now but jen didn't really bother this time. As soon as she heard the price she excused herself and left, there was another place she was dying to go to.

Without wasting any more time Jen texted the redhead she was leaving now and would be in Cambridge in about an hour and a half. Tilly immediately replied telling her class would be finished by then and her bags were already packed.

The closer Jen was getting to Cambridge the more nervous she got. One more mile before the exit to Cambridge and the brunette's stomach really hurt of the stress. Meanwhile Tilly's class was just finished so she made her way to her dorm as Jen wasn't there yet the redhead quickly jumped in the shower. Just as the student switched off the water there was a knock on her door so she folded a towel around herself before opening the door.

'hey'

'oh hey, come in' said tilly from behind the door and opening it a bit more for Jen to enter

'oh okay ..erm' answered the brunette but as soon as she did and saw the redhead standing in only a towel she kind of felt insecure … not knowing where to look at.

'just give me five more minutes and I'll be ready' the redhead said noticing the uncomfortable look on Jen's face. It probably hadn't been such a good idea to open the door like that and stood almost naked in front of her ex-girlfriend. 'make yourself comfortable' the redhead called from the bathroom

'oh okay' yelled jen back looking into the direction of the bathroom door. Without wanting to she caught a glance of tilly's naked back in the mirror cause the door stood open on a small gab. The former teachers eyes widened but immediately she turned her face … even though she had liked what she could see, it wasn't right to sneak at the redhead like that.  
Jen nervously waited for Tilly to appear back in the room while fiddling with he fingers. She though of things she could say of ask … being here so close with the redhead made her kind of light in her head. She had told herself not to feel like this but she just couldn't help it, Tilly had a way of infecting her like that.

'I'm ready' the redhead said walking out the bathroom and making Jen jump cause she had gotten lost in her thoughts. 'oh sorry didn't mean to scare you'

'oh . erm .. you didn't .. erm I just was thinking if I hadn't forgot to bring anything … it's been a hectic week..' halfly made Jen up

'I'm pretty sure you haven't forgot anything…!'

'I hope so …' there was a moment of silence 'erm so you ready?' asked the brunette while jumping up.

'yes' smiled tilly

'okay let's go … we got a long drive waiting for us'

'oh .. sorry I forgot to offer you a drink, don't you wanna drink something first?'

'thanks but it's okay, I've got a bottle of water in the car so …'

'Okay let's go then' smiled tilly packing her bag and with that they were ready to leave.

'wait let me help you with that ..' suggested Jen immediately going over to help Tilly with her bag.

'it's …' okay tilly wanted to say but Jen was already helping so she decided just to accept it 'thanks' the redhead then just smiled.

During the ride you could feel the tension between the two women's. They so desperately want to talk about a certain subject but they did their best to avoid it. Scared about what would happen if they spoke about it. So all they talked about was Jen's preparations for the gallery, the project she was helping the young artist with and tilly's education, how it was going and that sort of stuff.

We're almost there …' jen said while taking the highway's exit to Norwich.

'great, I really need to stretch my legs'

'should I pull over for a second?' asked Jen concerned

'no, it's okay … I think I'll manage till we get there. But thanks'

both of them felt this weird feeling in stomach, one they had felt before but it had been a long time and that weird feeling was getting stronger and stronger again.


	13. Chapter 13

ENJOY! And please leave a comment

Jen pulled up ad some hotel and shut down the engine 'well this is it … erm .. well at least for me, I kind of forgot to ask where you would be staying .'

'Oh no daim it, erm I've forgot … I haven't booked anything. I completely forgot, collage has been so busy and I remember looking up some hotels around here but then I didn't booked anything cause I wanted to ask where you would be stay but I 've …' Tilly started to freak out.

'Hey, calm down. Relax. Let's just go inside and we'll book you a room here okay!' smiled the brunette finding Tilly freaking out really adorable.

Jen took the bags out of the boot and carried them. The redhead wanted to help but the brunette told her it was okay.

'hello, welcome to the Travelodge hotel. How can I help you?' a women greeted the two as they walked to her desk.

'hello, I've booked a room on the name Jen Gilmore and is it possible to have another room for tonight and tomorrow please?.'

'I'm sorry but we're fully booked this weekend … '

'Oh ..' spoke Jen and Tilly at the same time

'It's a busy weekend … however I see the room you've book is double and there's only one person yet to check in so I could change that in a pair if you would like to!?' Said the women while looking into her computer.

For a moment a silence overtook the conversation until Tilly spoke up, answering the lady behind the desk. 'Erm … yeah okay that would be great'

Jen didn't know what to think by this, it made her extremely nervous. Like when the lady ask for her id the brunette handed it her in a kind of shaking way.

'Okay, here are your id's back.. You got room 26. You take the elavator to the second floor and it's the 7th room on the right. So here's your key and well have a nice stay!' smiled the receptionist

'Thank you' Tilly replied as Jen just stood there like she was on another planet,

The redhead gave Jen a little nudge that brought her back? Jen quickly picked up the bags and the two walked to the elevator. The brunette wanted to speak but she could, the word sat ready but she could manage to speak them. All the way up to their room Jen prepared herself to speak the room and when they stood in front of the door Jen stopped Tilly.

'Tilly .. erm … you didn't had to take this room you know .. I mean it's not that I mind but I would understand if you would like your own room so … I'm sure there are other ho…'

'It's okay, I don't really mind … we did came on a weekend together …'

Yes, that's right … okay' answered Jen and then opened the door. But then saw the double bed instead of two singles.

The redhead immediate had started checking out the room and bathroom. She had noticed the double bed too but didn't made a big deal out of it … however she saw it made Jen act weird.

'Erm … Tilly .. you sure about .. I mean …'

'Jen, I said it before it really is okay and if you're worried about the bed well .. we're both adults so for me it isn't a problem' Tilly interrupted Jen. She did wanted to add –it isn't like we haven't shared a bed before – but that probably would make Jen only more nervous.

Jen smiled and said 'you're right … ' while staring into Tilly's eyes. Almost getting hypnotized by them. 'Erm … so I though about going to see how the gallery looks, if you wanna go?'

'yeah sure, love to!'

'okay then … well actually is it okay if I take a shower first? I've been driving all day so ..'

'yeah no problem … in fact you quite need it cause you smell!' teased the student

'oh I do!?' questioned the brunette, sniffing herself

'Jen I'm just kidding' laughed Tilly

'not funny!' replied Jen who grabbed her stuff and took it to the bathroom. As she closes the door she discovers it's a see-through glass one. Without meaning to say it she flapped out 'shit' as she could see Tilly sitting on the bed through the door which meant Tilly could see her back.

That little word made Tilly raise her head and immediately she understood why Jen just had said it. It made her laugh a little but she quickly tried reassured Jen she didn't had to worry by saying 'Don't worry … just go and jump under that shower, I won't look. I promise.'

Jen felt kind of childish for this but well it just felt kind of … weird. She knew Tilly had already seen her like naked but now it was different. Things between them were different and the whole situation made her extremely nervous. Maybe it hadn't been such a good idea after all to invite Tilly. Cause Jen was like really nervous around her all the time and now they had to share a room, a bathroom, a bed. What if Tilly noticed Jen was acting weird around her because well it is her …. Because it is her, Tilly who is causing Jen to feel weird?

Even though the brunette's thoughts hadn't stopped thinking for a second, the heat of the water made her body a bit more relaxed. Jen shut down the water, grabbed a towel and started drying herself. She started to get dressed but couldn't find her bra… 'oh no' Jen thought realizing she had left it in her bag.

After a few seconds of deciding what to do she called out 'Erm … Tilly you there…?'

'Yeah, I'm here and I'm not looking I promise!'

'well erm … I'v forgot something out my bag … would you mind erm … bringing me it?

'Sure no problem… what was it again you needed?'

'Erm I've forgot my bra … ' Spoke Jen shy … 'it's probably on the tops in my bag' she quickly added

'Tilly quietly laughed, she heard how shy Jen sounded and knew how much she must be beating herself up for forget that particular piece. The redhead would have teased Jen a bit by describing some sexy lingerie she so-said saw in her bag but Tilly didn't cause she knew this situation was already to much for a torture for Jen.

'Found it! Can I come in?' aksed Tilly

'Erm yeah ..'

Jen stood wrapped in a towel behind the shower glass. Hoping the glass would made her a bit less naked even though she the glass had only one matt line in the middle.

'Here you goo' the redhead said handing the black bra to the girl who had been messing with her mind for the last couple of weeks, ever since she had seen her in London. Seeing her like that made her feel weak.

Tilly left and left herself fall down on the bed with her face forward. This moment just there in the bathroom had done something to her, which she was now trying to place. Jen had been messing with her head probably without her trying to but Tilly wasn't sure … oh why was this so hard… . Just a couple of seconds ago when she had seen Jen there, when she had brought her bra it felt like … the old times for a second. At least so it did for Tilly. But now it just confused the girl more.. it felt kind of awkward and Tilly realized how Jen must have felt when Tilly opened the door at her dorm in only her towel.

Jen entered the shower not really looking self sure and Tilly was all messed up too so there was kind of an awkward silence.

Strangely enough it was Jen this time who broke the silence and spoke up, asking Tilly if she was hungry. The two ended up going for some pita before going to the gallery where Jen's exhibition would take place tomorrow.

Just before entering the room Jen changed her mind and didn't want Tilly to see it yet as that would kind of spoil it for the redhead tomorrow. Tilly did agree and waited outside as Jen promised it would take long. She just wanted to check if everything hung up the way she wanted and how it look in reality, if it all was ordered correctly or if she had to change something.

Like promised checking up took only a few minutes but that was only because hung exactly like jen had sketched on a plan and the people had followed those instructions.

Before going back through the hotel the two walked through the city park, by now it was starting to get dark and Jen was getting tired. It had been a long week and and long exhausting day for the brunette so they headed back to the hotel.

While Jen changed into something to sleep in at the bathroom, tilly did the same in the bedroom.

'Can I come in' asked the brunette

'yeah, it's okay'

'Do you still need the bathroom or can I switch of its lights already?' asked Jen walking out

'erm yeah I just need to brush my teeth'

Here that moment came again, the moments were they just stared at each other and that weird feeling appeared.

Jen did her best to fight it and asked 'Erm you still sleep on the left side … sorry erm .. I mean which side of the bed do you prefer?

'Still the left indeed' smiled Tilly …

While Jen crawled under the sheets at the right side, the redhead brushed her teeth and a couple of minutes later she joined Jen

Jen was nervous, they were both nervous … tilly too.

'can I switch off the lights'

'yeah good.' Answered Jen and so Tiilly turned off the lights.

'At what time do you need to be at the gallery tomorrow?' asked the redhead

'Oh thanks, I almost forgot to put on my alarm … erm I've got to be there at like 8h30 but you can sleep in though. I mean If you want to the exhibition only opens around 10 a.m..'

'Okay yeah I'll sleep a bit longer then, it's been a while since I've had the chance to do that.'

'I'll be really quiet in the morning then'

'thanks' answered Tilly turning around and now laying faced to the middle staring at jen.

'good night' tilly says as she sees the brunette's head turn in her direction

'Good night tilly' replies jen

Staring in each others eyes ..they both smile ..

'goodnight' tilly says again and closes her eyes …

Jen still stares at tilly, looks at her lips .. she wants to kiss them … but turns around. Not wanting to think of it, not allowing herself to.. but not being able to think of anything else. Thinking about Tilly's actions this day. The looks, the words, the touches… Did she liked her back? .. Realizing tilly might just do love her again but probably is afraid.. jen realized she herself still loved tilly and never stopped doing that. If she would have one more chance to be with the redhead she would never do anything to hurt her … . Looking at tilly hearing her breathing so close next to her Jen just knew what she had been pushing back all along. She was in love with tilly like a lot like so much! Knowing this now for sure and receiving mixed signals of this girls wasn't it clear now that she should fight for Tilly?

….


	14. Chapter 14

Have fun reading :D

_Jen woke up by her alarm going of. The curtains of the room were really dark and didn't allow much light to brighten up the room. There was just enough natural light for Jen to grab her cloths and tried to make her way to the bathroom without smashing anything over. Once in the bathroom she flicked on the light but immediately turned them off again, not wanting to wake Tilly up. However it already was too late for that. Tilly had been woken up by the sound of Jen's alarm but she just stayed still as the brunette would feel kind of guilty for waking her up. Tilly found it funny how Jen did so her best not to make any sounds. At one point Jen was being so quiet that Tilly couldn't make out if she had already had left or not so she carefully peeked. _

_Just at the moment Tilly had chosen to peek Jen was stripping down to change into her the flower pattern dress she brought to wear during the gallery event. At first the redhead had closed her eyes again but then she opened them again as she couldn't resist. However it didn't take long for Jen to get changed so Tilly quickly closed her eyes again, pretending to be still asleep. The brunette applied some basic make-up and then was ready to leave. Walking out the bathroom she saw the girl she loved laying so peacefully 'asleep'. For a minute Jen just stood there admiring the girl in bed, wanting to crawl back close to her. The brunette walked closer to tilly, she took the bed sheets and pulled them higher as in a way to muffle tilly. Jen couldn't take her eyes of the redhead she wanted to kiss so badly but she knew she could not do that. Softly she stroke tilly's hair and spoke 'oh tilly' in away of like say –oh tilly what are you doing to me- or something like that. The longer Jen stood there, the harder it was to leave the room and how harder it got to resist the urge to kiss the redhead. Bending down through her knees Jen stoke the girls hair again._

_At this moment Tilly didn't know what was going to happen. It was so hard not to start breathing quicker cause her heart sure was beating faster. Nerves run all the way through the redhead's body. She wanted to open her eyes so badly, let Jen know she is awake but Tilly didn't dare to do that. What if it scares her away? It was a risk Tilly didn't want to take cause she enjoyed Jen's touch. Secretly she hoped the brunette would be courageous enough to kiss her. Maybe if Jen did then Tilly should open her eyes or just kiss her back!?_

_While stroking the redhead's hair Jen moved closer to her, biting her lip in order to hold herself back from kissing the girl in front her. –Jen stop it and just go- the brunette told herself. She got up un her feet again, stroke Tilly's hair one last time 'See you soon Tilly' Jen whispered and then simply kissed Tilly's lips._

_After that kiss Jen immediately left, she already had to hurry to make it in time. As soon as Tilly heard the door close she opened her eyes. Jen did kissed her … well kind of. Not exactly but exactly indeed. It wasn't a real kiss but it did was a real kiss. It was a simple, soft but sweet kiss. So did this prove Jen still loved her? OR was this a friendship kind of thing. No friends don't do that, do thry!? No they don't and defiantly not when one is asleep… . SO Jen must still loves her!? Why doesn't she say so when she does?_

Tilly shot up with her eyes wide open like she just woke up from a terrible nightmare but it hadn't been a nightmare. She had woken up from a dream, a dream which she didn't realized she was dreaming of. Now she did realized this was something she secretly was dreaming of, she wanted it to become reality and she regretted it had only been just a dream. The dream had felt so good, so right, so perfect, so meant to be. The redhead looked beside her and saw Jen laying next to her sweetly asleep. It looked like she was having a great dream too cause the brunette smiled in her sleep.

The redhead didn't know what to think, what to do… . She let herself fall back down onto her pillow while he thoughts stayed busy. All she knew was that Jen was messing with her head from the first moment she had been back in her life… no from the first moment she met her. Messing like not even in a bad way, there was just something about her that attracted the teenager. Something like magnetic. The period of time without her, after everything never had feel like right. It had always felt like something was missing, even at the worst times like just before Jen had disappeared out of her life even then it had felt better than when Jen wasn't in her life. What was it that was going on. Did it was like she was trying to deny so heart. Cause when she was being honest with herself the redhead know what was going on. From the first second the had met Tilly had felt it and that feeling had never ever left even though everything had been crap at times. She couldn't help it! It was what it look like and it only could be named one thing, LOVE. Love is something that surprises you at the moment you least expect it. Something that takes over control of you. Tilly looked beside her and smiled as she saw Jen still laying right beside her asleep like she had been laying next to her some times before a while back. Right at this moment it felt like one of those happy moments when they still where together. A moment where Jen would wake up, see Tilly next to her and kiss her. At this moment Tilly hoped her dream would become real. The more she kept thinking about it, the more she was sure about what she was thinking and denying all along. She loved Jen . Would Jen love her back? There weren't any sings she didn't.

It took a while but the redhead did had fallen back asleep. Around 8a.m. she got woken up by a alarm clock, jen's. The brunette quickly smashed it so it would stop making that annoying noise and not wake up the girl laying asleep next to her. Tilly did woke up by the alarm but kept her eyes closed knowing she could still sleep a bit longer. She heard Jen get up and quietly go to the bathroom. It hit the redheads mind, this couldn't be true this was exactly like her dream started too. Carefully Tilly peeked an eyes and couldn't believe, it was like sha was having a déjà vu. A minute later Jen stood next to her. The redhead wanted to open her eyes so badly but didn't dare, just like in her dream she was too scared. Her heart was like almost jumping out of her chest and yet Jen didn't notice that, she just tuck her in. She felt a weight on the mattress next to where she was laid. It was Jen sitting down at the edge, next to her. Tilly felt how the brunette carefully stroke a stray of hair away from her eyes. This couldn't be happing!

'oh tilly' Jen spoke softly, like a un-hearable whisper but Tilly heard it.

The weight on the mattress changed as the brunette bend over, moving her head closer to Tilly's. Carefully brushing Tilly's cheek with her thumb before kissing it.

Inside the redhead was going completely mental what just happened couldn't be real, was this a dream again, was she going to wake up with her eyes wide open again any second now!?


	15. Chapter 15

Enjoy! Next will be up tomorrow or sunday!

It wasn't a dream, this time it was really real. This was actually really happening! -Tilly open your eyes and just tell her what you feel, follow your heart, she does feel the same, jen does loves back.- The redhead tried but she couldn't she was scared, just like in her dream she was scared of Jen's reaction. This just felt to good to throw it away so she kept her eyes close. Tilly felt how Jen's head touched hers, she felt and heard her let out a heavy breathe which was followed by a brief moment of silence before the brunette spoke the words

'I'm so sorry for everything tilly … I am … if only you know … but ..I love you' in a silence whisper.

After that she stood up and left.

Tilly couldn't believe that this actually had happen. She opened her eyes as soon when she heard the door close and the bed next to her was empty. Jen was gone, of to the gallery and everything that just happened was real. Wait. Jen had just told her she loved her. Jen loved her back. WAIT! JEN LOVED HER BACK! She loved Jen and JEN LOVED HER BACK. THEY LOVED EACH OTHER! Why didn't she just opened her eyes when Jen was telling her she loved her!? She had to tell her! Cause Jen wouldn't would she? Although she already kind of had told her… .

Thoughts kept Tilly busy and one way she ended up falling back asleep; It was around 11a.m when the redhead woke up again. Seeing the time she was kind of shocked it was already that late so she jumped out of bed and got ready. There was a place she needed to be, there was a person she needed to see and speak.

As Tilly walked through the doors of the gallery where Jen's and some other artists paintings where showed it had gone just before noon. There she stood, the women who confessed her love a few hours ago without knowing she heard. The brunette was talking to some people who looked like potential buyers or so that's why Tilly didn't walked up to her strayed away and had a look around first. Most of the work that was exposed she hadn't seen before except for one. A painting of the girl she loved an she had seen it before although it wasn't like she remembered it was. The painting she remembered was pretty dark and this one, it was much brighter. How longer Tilly looked at it the more she recognized the dark painting in it. Had Jen mad a whole series of painting like that but every time used some different colors?

'hey Tilly, you're here already! I didn't see you come in' Jen spoke from behind her

The sudden voice scared the redhead up a bit cause she was kind of deep in thoughs. 'Hey, yeah I didn't wanted to disturb you and those people you were talking too.'

'you shouldn't, you could've I mean you shouldn't stayed away and just could've come to me.' Smiled the brunette

'It's seemed kind of imported so ..'

'Well they wanted to buy a painting but it's not for selling.'

'which …'

'So what do you think of the artworks?' Interrupted Jen trying to change the subject

'I've only just arrived but it seems all pretty good. I think it's all knew … well except for one … this one here. Is this from a series of yours or something?'

'no, it's only one piece …erm … I'll tell you about it later. I'm sorry but there's someone calling me over… '

'Okay, you better go. Come one…'

Tilly was left alone but she didn't mind. She understood this was Jen's job and didn't want to keep her from it! The redhead turned carried on her walk through the gallery and noticed Jen checking on her quite a few times. Multiple times the brunette had tried to make her way back to Tilly but every attempt she got hold back.

'Hey, here you are. I was looking for you'

'Well I wasn't hiding but you've found me now ….' Smiled the redhead

'I was wondering if you wanted to get a sandwich?'

'Yeah sure what do you want?'

Oh no, I didn't mean it like that! I've got half an hour to get some well late lunch so I was wondering if you wanted to join me?' explained Jen

'Okay I don't see why not!'

Only a street away there was a place where you could eat some snacks and so the two chose this place as it would give them more time to relax. They took a seat at a small table at the back cause it was a calmer corner and outside it wasn't that good of a weather. At first there was a small silence but then Jen started talking to avoid Tilly would ask a question Jen was scared she would ask for. The redhead indeed wanted to ask something well not like she would ask it like straight away but she would try and talk about the subject. A subject called 'Jen and Tilly'.

'Jen I've been …' tilly tried to starts

'So here are your sandwiches, enjoy' a waitress interrupted putting the sandwiches down in front of them

'oh thank you' Jen quickly answered. She took her own and before having her first bite she sais 'hmm I'm starving, aren't you ?'

For a minute Tilly just looked at Jen in a way like staring but not really staring more like in a way of –what are you doing now? Ar you avoiding what I am trying to say-

Instead of saying something about it Tilly just started eating too.

While eating they small talked, mostly about the exhibition which Jen was kind of happy for. She didn't wanted to get into their business right now.

'oh yeah, I've seen that one!' said Tilly confirming something the brunette just asked her 'I do like that one a lot but you remember the painting I said I liked a lot back at the gallery?' Asked the redhead and as Jen nodded her head she continued 'Well it reminds me a lot of the one I saw at you exhibition in London, … you know the dark one… well it's not exactly the same, this one is like brighter but they do really look really similar. I like them a lot

'well yeah … Erm … it's .. wait is this the time. I'm sorry but I really have to go back now … 30 minutes pass quick when you're having fun don't they' said Jen to avoid answering Tilly's question but not wanting to be too abruptly.

'okay, .. erm.. yeah it does' weakly smiled the teenager.

Inside her head the redhead slightly was going crazy. There was something special about this painting, it must be. Why else is Jen always avoiding to answer her questions about it..?

Jen immediately went back to work and Tilly helped a bit with serving people some drinks and food but dark painting kept distracting her. There were really a lot of visitors who came by to check the exposition out. It was a collection of all different artist and Jen's and 3 other artist their pieces where only for today. Tomorrow they were going to be replaced by some other artist their work. The one-day artists, like Jen had been selected out of a group to take part as like 'the new talents'.

Both the girls hadn't really the time to talk to each other once back at the gallery cause there were always people who wanted to talk to Jen. Right now those people came on the first place which Tilly totally understood even though she wanted to talk to Jen so badly. Around 19h it was when the amount of visitors lowered. Half hour later they were all gone and they could close the gallery. This was the perfect time for Jen to give Tilly a quick tour. However the redhead was only really interested in Jen's paintings and one in particular. Of course Jen had left that one as last as she already knew it was Tilly's favorite. During the tour the artist explained a lot … like colors and technics she had used where from tilly learned a lot.

'SO this is the last one' spoke the brunette walking over to it.

'Finally' smiled the redhead 'so may I get to know now some information about it? Like is it from a series … like the darker one in London?' she then asked

Jen let out a little laugh. 'Well … it's a special one and I'm not planning on selling it.' She began to explain and as she wanted to continue someone interrupted, calling them over.

Someone had arranged some food for all the artist and their company so they all enjoyed a nice simple diner right in the middle of the gallery. This all just at the moment when Tilly finally was about to find out more about this painting. –hmmm, typical- the redhead though but the whole diner picknick kind of thing was pretty cosy. Really kind of relaxing after a long day. Everyone cleaned their on things and then they all helped together to clean the exhibition room. After that it gotten around like 21h and some people wanted to go for a drink. Jen and Tilly got asked to join to but they declined the offer as they were to tired so they went back to the hotelIt had been a hell of a day and not so much by the gallery but more like by all the emotions that had came up inside both of them.


	16. Chapter 16

_**Enjoy reading and please leave a review :D Have a nice Sunday! **_

As the two girls entered their hotel room Jen threw herself on the bed.

'you tired?' asked the redhead

'hmm yeah! You?'

'maybe a little?'

As tilly sat herself down next to Jen staring at the brunette, making the brunette kind of felt uncomfortable. Her feelings where making knots in her stomach.

'erm is it okay if I take a shower?' asked Jen

'yeah sure but only if you make it a quick one, I could use one too' answered the redhead playfull

'oh .. well then you go first' politely suggested Jen

'no it's okay … you can go first, no need to rush you can take you're time … I was only teasing'

'it's really no problem … besides while you're in the shower I'll get some more minutes to let my feed rest… ' Explained the brunette

'okay then if you're sure it's okay'

'yeah it's fine … come on get in that shower you!'

While the redhead was in the bathroom Jen laid in bed watching some crapping tv. She wasn't really watching as her mind was thinking too much again. The though of tilly in the next room, naked under the shower was kind of distracting for the brunette. Her insides where screaming, longing to walk right under that shower with tilly and kiss her but that wouldn't be right.

AS Tilly re-appeared in the room she saw the brunette was deep in thoughs and clearly not noticing her so she waved her hand in front of Jen's face. Which made the brunette slightly jump.

'bathroom is free' tilly informed even though that was obvious

'oh okay .. right' said Jen getting up 'erm I was thinking maybe … would you like to watch a movie when I'm back?'

'weren't you tired?'

'I think I'll be able to handle a movie after this shower' winked jen

'okay then' smiled the redhead

'well then you can choose one while I'm in the shower'

'great' answered tilly with a smile on her face, happy about the fact the night is not over yet.

Jen made it a quick shower as her feet hurt and she just wanted to lay in bed. Well that's what she told herself but she actually wanted to be closer to Tilly and enjoy her company.

'So which one have you chosen?' asked the brunette while walking into the room with a towel still in her hands to dry her hair.

'hmm I don't really know..'

'well are there any I could help to chose from then?'

'not really, there aren't really much to chose from …'

'okay … erm we still could go for a walk then or so…' suggested the brunette

'I though you were tired?'

'yeah but you aren't so I though we could still do something …'

'jen …' soflty spoke tilly as she found this sweet of the brunette.

'what?'

'well if there was any place I would like to go to then it would be back to the gallery!'

'what for? We've been there already all day…'

'I know but you still didn't tell me about that painting I like!' smiled the redhead and sat herself up on the bed

Jen smiled back and hung her towel op on a chair and leaned against the table before starting to speak. 'well that one is … it's something I've been working on for quite some time. It's not for sell cause it's a work in process. It's still not finished yet and I don't know when it will be, neither do I know how it will look like when it's finished.'

'Is it the same one like the one where we met at in London?'

'yes' shortly but sounding happy, answered the brunette

Tilly got up from the bed and walked closer to jen 'Well why is it brighter now?'

'Cause I feel brighter now … ' answered jen with a bit of a shaky voice, getting more and more nervous, feeling the blood run through her veins faster and faster.

Tilly already had an idea what this painting, the meaning of it could be like and so she asked the next question. Hoping to get the answer she needed to hear 'Why the red spot bigger?'

Silent filled the hotel room for a second. Jen's mind was thinking what to answer, trying to choose her words carefully. She knew what she wanted… and she needed. To fight and to be honest.

'My heart tells me too, it feels more … like …, it's healing, growing strong, feeling more. Everday more and more ever since… 'Jen became emotional. Her eyes getting red and her body started to kind of shake heavy from the nerves.

'Your heart feels what? Since what?' Whispers tilly, needing to know the answer.

'I'm scared' whispered the brunette in a breath as the teenager only stood inches away from her.

'Me too but tell me, I need to hear it again please Tell me!'

Jen couldn't believe her ears. What did Tilly mean? Did she hear this morning, was that what she meant? Tilly loves her back?

'Tilly … I … ' t**akes a deep breathe**

Jen was so nervous, she couldn't control her breating. The artist felt like she was suffocating, she couldn't breathe but she needed to breathe in order to make her heart beat less fast cause the way the it was pumping the blood through her veins on this moment, she could've a heart attack just any moment?

'Jen calm down' said Tilly holding the brunette

Feeling Tilly's touch only made it worse.

The redhead didn't know what she had to do, never had see seen someone in a state like this. She didn't even know what state Jen was in … like was she epileptic? Panic attack? Panic for what? What was happening right now?

Jen's breathing speeded every timeher lungs tried to re-fill with fresh air.

In panic Tilly searched a bag and gave it to Jen. 'here breathe in this, slowly. Focus, focus on your breathing. Breathe in, breather out.' Tilly tried to speak as calm as possible so Jen would relax while her insides where scared as hell. Staying calm wasn't exactly a piece of cake with the state Jen was in?

Instead of focusing on her breathing, Jen focused onto the redhead's voice. It sounded perfect. It was like heaven to her ears and eventually it made the redhead relax. As soon as her breathing slowed down and there was no longer a need for the bag, Tilly took Jen in her arms. Glad she is back okay she hugged her tight and rytmically stroke Jen's back.

'calm down jen, it's all okay …' quietly spoke the redhead in Jen's ear while she still stroke her back.

The care which tilly handled the whole situation, the love jen had felt made something click inside the brunette's head. It gave her that little push she needed to get the words she wanted to say for so long, come out. Jen took a deep breathe and just said them. Well it was more like a whisper but she had spoken them for Tilly to hear. 'I love you' she said

Immediately Tilly loosened the grip and looked the brunette in the eye.

Both of them smiled and a tear rolled out of the redhead's cheek

Jen carefully wiped it away before their lips were drawn to each other like magnets. The brunette hesitated for a second but then smiled and gently kissed Tilly's lips with all the love she felt for her!


	17. Chapter 17

It's short but it's something ;)

Enjoy

Jen's lips on her felt even better then she could remember. The brunette had started the kiss carefully, like gentle and as Tilly kissed her back it became a bit more passionate. Both of them were overtaken by the emotions of what just happened. This was something the two had longed for and now it had become reality it looked almost surreal as it wasn't really happening. As they broke of the kiss they looked at each other stared into each others eyes with a smile written across their whole face.

'am I dreaming?' Whispered the brunette

A question Tilly answered by kissing the girl asking softly on her lips again. 'hmm I don't know are you?'

'I think I am in heaven now…' shyly spoke Jen loving the feel of Tilly's lips on hers.

'You more belong like in hell' joked the redhead, which made Jen's face change looking a bit doubting. 'I'm only joking, you really make me happy and well I've wanted to do that … for a while but I didn't da… so I'm glad you made that confession yesterday morning.'

'wait you heard that!?'

'yes … but I was afraid to react … I didn't know how you would react but now it … I could't wait …'

'I know I was afraid too .. I still am …'

'Jen don't be … you don't need to I …'

'shhh, I know but I am … but I am also really happy, happy you … spoke up and kept … well kind of pushing me' Jen smile

'I just was hoping you felt what I felt too and well clearly you did … do'

'yeah' smiled Jen 'and I think I have some painting to do' she winked while putting her arms around the girl she loved and pulling her close to her. Like to really feel her and be sure this all ain't a dream.

Tilly smiled,knowing exactly what Jen meant with the painting she had to do. 'maybe you should get some sleep firs, no!' said the redhead as jen's head searched for a comfortable place on her shoulder to rest on.

The two girls crawled in bed, spooning close together like it is a single bed they're in. Their lips met one last time, they held each other and felt asleep just like that. Knowing it all was going to be okay!


	18. Chapter 18

Hey good morning' spoke jen softly as tilly laid in front of her, just opening her eyes for the first time today.

'Hmm' mumbled the redhead who had closed her eyes again. Her lips whom had still been asleep now woke up too and instantly formed a smile. This was a happy morning and it should become a happy day too.

Slept well?' Carefully questioned Jen . Her voice didn't gave it away but she was kind of scared asking this. Scared Tilly might regret what happened last night.

'Really great' answered tilly still with that same smile on her face, it even had grown a bit bigger while answering and especially while remembering last night. It was like a real smile of happiness. You could see it was honest, such a smile you just could not fake

Jen felt relieved and happy too, knowing exactly how tilly must be feeling. 'me too' she then said smiling back and wanted to say something more but as tilly opened her eyes, the brunette got lost staring into them.

They couldn't help but smile as they laid facing each other. It was tilly who was the first to break the staring by slightly looking down, at Jen's lips. When their eyes connected again Jen bit her lip. She knew exactly what the redhead wanted but and she wanted the same but didn't wanted to start it. Tilly saw Jen's hesitation and so she took matters into her own hand by leaning in, like really close to jen's lips. Half an inch there was only left and that's when she stopped. The brunette who had just closed her eyes as she had seen tilly's approaching lips now surprised opened them. Right away she knew it was up to her now and so she clesed het eyes and moved her lips till they met tilly's.

'I hate to say this but we should start packing, check out is before eleven.' Informed the brunette seeing the time at the clock on the bedside table.

'hmmm' was tilly's answer to that information, tightening her arms stronger around jen and the brunette then copied that action.

When another couple of minutes passed by they really hadn't that much time anymore. Jen let go of tilly, kissed the redheads lips briefly and undid the grips of those arms that were draped around her. As the brunette got out of the bed she turned around kissing the top of Tilly's head before changing into some comfy cloths. Without really thinking about it she started taking her cloths of in front of her re-won girlfriend. It might be not that weird considering they already had seen all of each other some years ago but still it kind of was as they were only back together a few hours. Compared with the days before it was a lot different cause then they always went into the bathroom separately but anyway Jen didn't thought about that all, she just felt comfortably to do that. It happened kind of naturally which surprised the redhead but in a really good way cause she enjoyed watching Jen getting changed.

'So aren't you coming out of bed now you're done watching me getting dressed!?' Jen spoke from the bathroom while brushing her hair.

At first there was no answer or any thing as reply until suddenly the redhead jump from behind the wall making her lover jump.

'hey, that wasn't funny'

'hmmm well it kind of was'

'no it wasn't!' said Jen annoyed but playful

'oh come here so I can make up for it' answered Tilly and started kissing the girl as making up part for scaring Jen.


	19. Chapter 19

More is coming this tomorrow or this weekend ;) Thank you all for the review, keeps me writing ;)

Enjoy

Exact on 11 a.m the couple checked out of the hotel. After being distracted by each other they had to throw their cloths quickly in a bag to be out in time. Not that it would come down to a minute or something but the couple just didn't wanted to be late. Jen carried the bags to the car while Tilly checked them out of the hotel.

'You ready?' asked the brunette when tilly joined her in the car.

'Not really'

'Me neither … but we have to. You got school to go to..'

'Yeah … and you got that student project to help with'

'I know … but let's not think about that for now and just enjoy the ride'

'Fine.'

Jen kissed her redhead a last time before starting the engine and with that beginning the trip home. Home to Cambridge for tilly and London for Jen.

They had been driving for 10 minutes and both of them had been quiet all the time. Sad because they were leaving , both to their own home without and that was something they didn't want to think about. Who know how long it would be till they saw each other again, what if it wouldn't work out because of that. Jen had her life in London and Tily still had university. As those 'not wanting to think about thoughts' had been circling around in their head, Jen broke free from them. She had just driven up the highway when she looked at tilly. It look like she was thinking about the same things as Jen just had been thinking of before but the brunette wasn't sure, maybe she just was listening to the radio which was playing quietly and filling the silence. Realizing it was probably the first thing, jen grabbed tilly hand and entwined their fingers. Tilly looked up, facing Jen and smiled at this gesture.

'I love you' Tilly spoke honestly

Those three words were like setting the brunette on fire. It sounded so perfect every time she heard tilly say them.

I love you too' Jen said back. And checked the road in front of her before turning her head in order to kiss the girl she loved.

'So I guess I'll have to stop in Cambridge first, before going down to London?'

'Now I regret not going to university in London…'

'Well I don't know … maybe … who know we might never have run into each other if you went there, London is a big city.'

'I know but then I would have to miss you… I am going to miss you, you know!,'

Jen smiled, knowing exactly what Tilly meant. 'I am going to miss you too but I was thinking about maybe visiting Cambridge next week.'

'Tilly's sad face disappeared and a smile appeared instead. 'DO you mean that? Are you serious?'

'Yes I wouldn't say so if I wasn't'

'I already can't wait for the weekend to arrive…'

' 'Me neither but you know this one isn't even over yet' smiled the brunette thinking about her next actions.

'What do you mean' questioned the redhead seeing jen is up to something with that smile of hers.

'Wait and see my darling love'


	20. Chapter 20

Enjoy! Let me know what you think and share your ideas.

On here or on twitter (writingsomestuf)

'hey i think you just took the wrong exit'

'what really, no .. I don't think so'

'yes the the sign said it was the second exit to cambridge and that was the first.'

'let's just wait and look for another sign'

It didn't take long for another say to come across and tilly immediately spotted it 'you see, no sign of Cambridge anymore'

'okay, you were right, I'll take the one of the highway and turn around'

'okay, you know maybe you should let me drive then' joked Tilly

Jen just laughed and a few minutes later she took some random exit.

Instead of driving back to the highway the brunette followed the road the exit had brought them. Tilly didn't get it but didn't say anything until Jen suddenly stopped at the side of the road.

'What are you doing? You know I was only joking about switching places right!?'

Without answering the redhead jen got out of the car. She walked around the car and opened the passenger's door.

'Come on get out'

'jen what wrong, what are you doing?' questioned tilly not getting anything from her girlfriend's blank face.

Jen did so her best not to laugh and to look a bit scary, which was working cause tilly was getting a bit afraid.

Just when TIlly was about to speak again jen burst out. She couldn't hold back her laughter any longer. The redhead just looked clueless at her.

'I had you hanging there for a moment didn't i?' spoke jen still catching her breath from the laughing.

'hey that wasn't funny at all!' tilly said not impressed

'I'm sorry … I wanted to tilly-nap you because I ain't ready to drive you home yet' sweetly apologized Jen

'so this was your plan all along?'

'hmm I only came up with it while driving. I actually have no idea where we are and what there is to do in this town but let's find out!'

'you're out of your mind, you know that!?'

''yeah you do seem to have that affect on me'

'no way, your craziness is naturally!'

'but you love it, you have to admit that!

'yes id do!'

'you do what?'

'I love you' smiled tilly while speaking the words from her heart

Jen kissed the girl in front of her and repeated those three words.

After a little kissing moment they locked the car and explored the village.

Seemed like there wasn't much to do, it was only a small village where the centre was pretty much only one street. Much there wasn't to see so as the two hadn't really eaten yet today and the sky got darker with threatening clouds, Jen asked her girlfriend out for lunch. Tilly happily agreed and as the couple stepped inside of one out of the two restaurant in the village, it started raining.

The restaurant was pretty small but that made it kind of cosy and romantic. Time flew by during lunch and as much fun they were having, they couldn't stay at the village forever. It got to the time were they had to continue their way back home. Cambridge only was about half an hour away but London still would take some time.

During the 30 minutes drive the two sang along at with the radio and just had fun doing silly things. Once Jen pulled at TIlly's place and switch off the engine, it went quite. For a whole minute neither of them said anything. Tilly then took adeep breath before speaking.

'Are you coming inside for a moment,'

'yeah sure, .. well if you want me to?'

'yes' answered the redhead immediately, almost before Jen had finished her sentence.

'okay, let me help you with your bags then' She grabbed them, carrying them all the way to the redhead's place were she dropped them in a corner and instead grabbed her girlfriend to hold.

'please don't leave yet' begged tilly when Jen paused a moment from kissing her.

'okay' smiled the brunette and let tilly guide her to the couch.

The couple spend their time cuddled up, talking and kissing.

'please tell me you're staying'

'I can't… you know that'

'I don't want to know that … I'll miss you. I don't even know when I'll see you again when you leave'

'I'll miss you too! Next weekend I'll try to come over, okay.'

'how am I supposed to survive that long?'

'hey, don't go all dramatic, … I'll be back here before you know it! You'll have school keeping you busy!'

'shh…. I don't even want to think about that right now.'

'I'm sorry … hey, are you tired?' Jen asked as tilly yawned

'no!'

'you're such a bad liar!'

'do you know what time it is?'

'Around five-ish I think, let me check … oh no it's already 6.'

'oh no please don't go yet … '

'Tils I'll have to'

'let me make you some dinner first, please. Let's have dinner together'

'Fine but only if you let me help you make it.'

'deal' smiled the redhead

The two lovers made some pasta salad of some leftovers they found in the fridge. It wasn't anything special but they were quite proud of their result cause it was pretty good. Unfortunately every good day, every good evening must come to an end and so did this one.

After cleaning up, jen pushed herself to tell her girlfriend now was the time she really needed to go home. Tomorrow morning was going to be an early one for the both of them. Having to leave the girl she was over her head in love with really sucked.

They stood at the doorway, saying and kissing each other goodbye over and over again.

'okay, I really need to go now. Or else I'll never leave'

'I would like that'

'me too but you know … '

'yeah I know…'

'I promise I'll be back this weekend and we can call and skype.'

'okay' spoke the redhead still sounding sad but forcing a little smile.

'okay … I've got to go, bye'

Jen kissed the girl she didn't want to leave one more time before walking to the end of the hallway.

'bye' sighted the redhead as she watched her girlfriend leave.

The redhead felt so strange, like something wasn't right or something bad was about to happen. Even though they arranged Jen to come down next weekend Tilly could help but feel, no fear this was the last time she would see Jen.


	21. Chapter 21

Short again but enjoy! :D

If you have some idea's about how they could spend their Sunday, feel free to share ;)

Both Jen as Tilly woke up early. The redhead had uni to attend to and for Jen it was work. Waking up, alone in a bed felt weird. Even though they only had spend two nights together, wherefrom only one as a couple, the feeling sucked! So the first thing Tilly did was grabbing her phone to text her girlfriend that she missed her next to her in bed.

Meanwhile in London the brunette was already cleaning up her breakfast when her phone beeped. Still sleepy she walked over to her bedroom to check on her phone, which she had plugged into the charger when she woke up cause her battery had died. The artist smiled as she saw her girlfriends name on the screen. Typing a sweet message back she stopped deleted it and instead called her special redhead.

TIlly jumped hearing her ringtone go off. Seeing it was Jen calling that little heart attack got cured immediately.

The couple informed each other they slept terrible as they hadn't slept together in one bed but apart and quite some miles apart from one another.

After that morning talk the two were kind of more ready for their day than before. Well at least it hade made them happier.

Days dragged by although it went quite fast because the two had it extremely busy this week. SO even though they complained time should go faster, it was Sunday in no time.

'hello beautiful' heard the redhead in a whisper.

It took her a moment to realize it was her girlfriend who spoke them to her. At first she thought this was just a dream but as she opened her eyes it hit her. Last night after work Jen drove straight to Cambridge as that would give them more time together. Around midnight the brunette had arrived, very tired. Exhausted from a long busy work-week. So much time actually spend doing something hadn't happened last night but they were together and that's all what mattered for the two. Beside Tilly was pretty tired too. The two had chosen the best thing to do and crawled in bed, together. Cuddled up, it didn't take long for the brunette to fly away to the lands of dreams. Dreaming of how happy she was to be there, next to her girlfriend. Dreaming about what tomorrow might bring. As Tilly was laid there still awake she was thinking the same and only a couple of minutes later she joined her girlfriend.


	22. Chapter 22

It has been a while but be happy here is a new one :D

Look at her so beautifully asleep, her breath is like music to my ears. She looks so cute and hot too, Tilly was thinking as she had woken up in the middle of the night. Seeing Jen lay right beside her it had been impossible not to look at her. The redhead gently stroke a piece of hair away from her girlfriends face and softly placed a kiss on her cheek. Snuggling closer, closing her eyes and hearing the brunettes breathing rhythm made Tilly fade away pretty quick again.

The sound of the rain hitting the window above them cause Jen to wake up. She wasn't used to hear the rain that loud, at her apartment the window were just regular ones not a skylight like here. Feeling the warm present beside her the brunette could stop smiling. Waking up like this was just perfect and she had missed this a lot! Carefully she turn over to her side and started stroking Tilly's arm which rested around her waist. She wanted the redhead to wake up but also not cause she knew how much she liked her sleep. Kissing the top of Tilly's nose she heard the girl let out a little tired moan.

'Good morning' whispered the brunette

'Hi' smiled Tilly as she tried to open her eyes

Opening her eyes she looked right into those of her girlfriend, which were the most beautiful eyes she had ever seen.

'How long have you been awake?' she then asked

'Not that long…' informed Jen vague and kissed her lovers lips softly.

Tilly lips formed a smile when Jen pulled back and the buried her head in her pillows as she yawned, big.

'You still tired?' questioned Jen

'A little…'

'You can go back to sleep if you want to.'

'Hmm sounds nice but no, … we got things to do.'

'Okay but let's stay here just a few more minutes, this is just to nice'

'A few more minutes!?' questioned the redhead

'hahaha, yes a few more minutes' laughed Jen

'Oh, just come here and wrap your arms around me' demanded the student

'Yes miss, it one of my favorites things to do'

'One of your favorite things?' Tilly stated, wanting to know what those other things were.

'Yes! One of… this is another thing I like … ' said Jen as she moved her head closer and let their lips meet again.

Their little kissing session soon got more heated until Jen's phone rang and disturbed the two lovers their actions. At first Jen had wanted to ignore the call but she was working on a pretty imported project so if it would have to do with that she couldn't just ignore it.

Unfortunately it was a student of the students project. While Jen was talking Tilly decided to get up and so she headed to the bathroom to get ready. In the meantime the brunette was in the living room, trying to handle the situation as fast as possible so she could head back in bed with her girlfriend. However when Jen walked back in the bedroom her girl was nowhere to be seen, the bed was empty.

'What are you doing here already?' asked Jen walking into the bathroom and seeing Tilly almost fully dressed.

'I am getting up…, you should too unless you want to go out wearing only that' smirked the redhead

'So we are going out?'

'Yes! I am going to show you off in Cambridge but I would prefer that being with you having some more cloths on.'

'Alright … but can I get a shower first then?'

'yeah of course… Can I join?'

'NO!' was Jen her answer succinctly in a teasing way

'Oh that's just to bad for you …' spoke Tilly teasing. 'Well good then, shower on your lonely own … I'll arrange some breakfast in the meantime' she said, kissed the brunette briefly and walked out the bathroom.


	23. Chapter 23

_Hi chap 22 was the right for this one. This story is about years later .. where tilly is in uni and goes to London to see her friends for her birthday. There she bumps into Jen at an exhibition of her and they get in touch again.. going a weekend together to this art even of Jen. Thanks to one of Jens paintings they admit their feelings and start over again. So now they have to go on with their lives .. Jen in London, Tilly in uni and when they can, they go over to each other's place ;)_

_The court thing is in my other story … 'Jelly is over? No it isn't! Jelly forever!' which has 22 too at the moment and is asking for an update too… (ideas are welcome)_

Enjoy!

'Hey, I am so glad to hear you. You got no idea! I missed you a lot!' where the words Tilly heard as soon as she had answered Jen's phone call with a simple but happy 'hi'

'I missed you too… tell me what's up… where do you sound so … like stressed..'

'Because it will still be a long time that I have to miss you..' answered the brunette rolling on her other side in bed as their normally Tilly would lay.

'How do you mean … you changed your mind and don't want to com to see me this weekend?' Said Tilly in a jokingly way

'NO! .. yes .. but I want to but I can't … something came up. At the gallery I work now… the other employee he had an accident so now I've to be there all weekend.'

'oh' let the redhead out a bit disappointed that she wasn't going to see Jen this weekend.

'Sorry … I really want to…'

'I know … I just was looking forward to see you … but don't feel sorry, you can't help it. These things unfortunately happen. Maybe I can try to come over?'

'Thanks … for understanding .. . . But don't come here, I know you don't have the time. You need too be studying and you got that group thin you told me about as I remember good.'

'hmmm just say yes'

'nope' playfully replied the brunette

'it's not funny!'

'I know I am not being funny, you do need to study!'

'well I do need to study biology .. the human body, want to help me out?'

'no!? you really say no to that!? Thought you were an expert in that!?

'Oh, I am!' proudly said Jen

'Yes you are!' smiled the redhead

For a few more moments they talked … wishing each other goodnight couple of time before actually putting down the phone. A weekend without seeing each other would be hard and long … really long even though both of were going to be busy.

It was Saturday evening and the last two day had been hell. Only once the couple had heard each other and that only for about 5 minutes as Jen had felt asleep very quick and easily. She had been having only a few hours of sleep and again today had been hard day for her. Tilly's days had been busy but boring busy … and calm busy. Only studying and today she met up with other students for the group project.

Now however she was back at her room, all alone and could help but miss Jen more than ever cause she knew normally she would have been here waiting for her. Taking out her phone to call Jen, Tilly saw a text saying she had to work late because of some gallery night walk or something. It was a but frustrating but the redhead understood… . '"no relationship can be 24/7" she thought which did cause to let her a little laugh. Looking at her books on her desk, Tilly realized she actually had been working good the last few days… she was ahead on her schedule. So a logical thing is that she deserved a reward… and she went to check online what hours the trains leave to London.


End file.
